Monday, December 02, 2013

Blade Pakkiri's Delhi Belly

IF NOIDA HAD A BAD DAY, WHAT WOULD IT BECOME?
Annoyda

WHERE DO OBESE WOMEN DO THEIR JOGS IN DELHI?
Moti Baag

IF THE LASSI HAD A HOMELAND IN DELHI, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Around Yeast of Kailash.

WHERE DO FB MATES DO THEIR OFFLINE MEETS IN DELHI?
New Friends Colony

WHERE DO FOOTBALLERS SHOP IN THE CAPITAL CITY?
Goal Market

WHAT'S THE T-SHIRT CAPITAL OF DELHI?
Tees Hazari

WHAT'S THE CARPETBAGGER'S HANGOUT CALLED IN DELHI?
Dhurrieyaganj

WHERE DID THE iPHONES PLAN THEIR REUNION IN DELHI?
Siri Fort

WHICH DELHI NEIGHBORHOOD IS A FAVOURITE HAUNT OF ZEN POETS?
Dhaula Koan

WHICH IS THE BEST PLACE TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS IN DELHI?
Carol Bagh

IF HENRI MANCINI WERE A DELHI JAT, WHAT WOULD HE BE SINGING?
Bawana Gila

WHAT DID THE CCR SAY WHEN THEY VISITED LODI COLONY?
Oh Lord, Stuck in Lodi again


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Blade Pakkiri's Irksome Moves

IF NAAI IS A DOG, WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHESS PLAYING DOG?
Korchnaai

WHAT'S THE APT NAME FOR A MASSEUR TURNED GRANDMASTER?
Spassky

WHICH CHESS PLAYER WAS ONCE MISTAKEN FOR A PETROLEUM JELLY?
Vaseline Topalov

WHAT IS THE CHESS PLAYER'S FAVOURITE BEVERAGE?
Castle Lager

WHY DID THE CHESS PLAYER NEVER GET A JOB?
Because he never found the opening he was looking for in Monster.com

WHY DID THE JUDGE TAKE TO CHESS LIKE A FISH TO WATER?
Because he heard this is the only game that allowed adjournments.

WHICH IS THE SMARTEST TERRORIST OUTFIT IN THE WORLD?
Lasker-E-Toiba

KERALITES OFTEN ASSUME THAT THIS GUY MUST BE A MALLU GRAND MASTER FROM THE MIDDLE EAST. WHO?
Boris GELFand

THIS CHESS PLAYER'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WOULD BE A SHORT STORY. WHO?
Nigel Short

WHY DID THE BLONDE REFUSE TO DATE THE GRAND MASTER?
Because he was into stale mates.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Blade Pakkiri Turns Legal Eagle

WHAT'S THE WORLD’S FIRST GATED COMMUNITY?
Prison

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GATED COMMUNITY MEANT EXCLUSIVELY FOR THOSE OUT ON PAROLE?
Parole Bagh

WHAT BRAND OF PACKAGED DRINKING WATER DO THEY SERVE AT THE COURTS?
Bailley

WHY DID THE COURT TAKE ITS OWN SWEET TIME TO DISPOSE OFF THE APPEAL?
Because it’s an APELLATE court.

WHAT KIND OF MUSIC IS PREFFERED BY THE HONORABLE JUDGES?
Chamber Music

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ADVOCATE WHO TURNED INTO A SINGER?
Gary Lawyer

WHY DID THE PIZZA MAN DELIVER TWICE AT THE CHIEF JUSTICE’S HOME?
Because he heard the Judge repeat the ‘ORDER ORDER!’

WHY DOES ONE GET A FEELING THAT OUR JUDGES HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO IN LEARNING ENGLISH?
Because they are forever pronouncing sentences.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAT LAWYER?
Suo Motu

WHY DID THE GOLF CLUB CREATE A SEPARATE TEEING GROUND FOR LAWYERS?
Because the law will take its own course.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Blade Pakkiri has Chinese for breakfast.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHINESE WHO'S BAD AT MATH?
Dim Sum

WHICH INDIAN MUSIC COMPOSER IS POPULAR IN BEIJING?
Yuan Shankar Raja

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHINESE COWARD?
Lee Lee Livered

WHY DID THE CHINESE HACK THE FORTUNE WEBSITE?
They were rummaging it for Fortune Cookies.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SICK CHINESE?
Deng Gu

WHY WILL CHINA NEVER WIN A WAR WITH INDIA AGAIN?
They have too many chinks in their armour!

WHICH CHINESE CITY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF PEEPING TOMS?
Peeking

WHICH INDIAN KING WAS MISTAKEN FOR AS A NOODLE BY CHINESE TRAVELERS?
Hakka

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHINESE SOUP MAKER IN PONDICHERRY?
Pi Ping Hot

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GOOD LOOKING CHINESE IN PUNJAB?
Chung Ga

IF THE KANNADA CLASSIC 'TABARINA KATHE' WAS REMADE FOR CHINA, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED?
Tabarina Cathay

WHY DID THE CHINESE ASSUME THAT TAMILIANS ARE COMMIES?
Because every home has Dosa Mao, Kadala Mao, Maida Mao and Kolam Mao.

Sunday, March 03, 2013

How do you say 'how do you do'?

At the kennel: Bow do you do?
At the steakhouse: Cow do you do?
At the stock exchange: Dow do you do?
At Guantanamo Bay: POW do you do?
At the Confucius fan room: Tao do you do?
At the Naxalite training camp:Mao do you do?
At the typographer's cafe: Goudy you do?
At the toilet: How do you do-do?
At the bordello: Who do you do?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Rahul the Raksha Mantri Jokes

Why is Rahul the Raksha Mantri well suited to oversee the navy?
He was always a ‘sea’ grader at Doon School.

Why is Rahul the Raksha Mantri well suited to oversee the army?
He’s played ‘Minesweeper’ since god knows when.

Why is Rahul the Raksha Mantri well suited to oversee the air force?
He’s always surrounded himself with ‘pilots’ – Rajesh Pilot and Sachin Pilot.

How many wars has Rahul the Raksha Mantri seen?
Star Wars Episode 1, Star Wars Episode 2, Star Wars Episode 3, Star Wars Episode 4, Star Wars Episode 5 & Star Wars Episode 6.

Why will Rahul the Raksha Mantri never visit the National Defence Academy?
Arre, being in UPA, how can he even think of entering the NDA!

Why did Rahul the Raksha Mantri disband the Border Security Force?
Because Allan Border has retired, you see!

What did Rahul the Raksha Mantri quip when he was shown the cannon in the defense museum?
“What’s a photo copier doing here?”

What did Rahul the Raksha Mantri order in an Army Canteen?
“One submarine sandwich, please!”

When Rahul the Raksha Mantri met his Pakistani counterpart, what did he brag about?
“We even have an F16 in our key boards!”

What’s common to Rahul the Raksha Mantri and the Beretta 92 gun?
Both are of low caliber.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Blade Pakkiri's Vazhiyals

RAJNIKANT'S PUNCHLINE: En Vazhi Thani Vazhi.

THE JAPANESE FOREX DEALER'S PUNCHLINE: Yen Vazhi Thani Vazhi.

AVOGADRO'S PUNCHLINE: 'N' Vazhi Thani Vazhi.

THE BUDDHIST'S PUNCHLINE: Zen Vazhi Thani Vazhi.

THE TASMAC MAN'S PUNCHLINE: Yen Vazhi Thanni Vazhi.

THE STAND-UP COMEDIAN'S PUNCHLINE: En Vazhi Funny Vazhi.

RAVI SHASTRI'S MOST RECENT PUNCHLINE: En Vazhi Sunny Vazhi.

HUGH HEFNER'S PUNCHLINE: En Vazhi Bunny Vazhi.

THE SQUINT GUY'S PUNCHLINE: En Vizhi Thani Vazhi.

THE BRA BURNER'S PUNCHLINE: Penn Vazhi Thani Vazhi.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Blade Pakkiri Takes to the Streets

WHERE DO YOU HEAD WHEN YOU HAVE A SORE THROAT IN CHENNAI?
Halls Road

WHERE DO BEER LOVERS HANG OUT IN CHENNAI?
Miller’s Road

WHICH IS THE BEST PLACE TO PLAY HOLI IN CHENNAI?
Rang-anathan Street

WHICH ROAD DO MONKEYS AVOID IN CHENNAI?
Vaal Tax Road

WHERE DO INVESTORS TAKE SHELTER IN CHENNAI WHEN THEY ARE IN THE GRIP OF A BEAR HUG?
TurnBulls Road

WHERE ARE YOU LIKELY TO FIND MONEY LAUNDERERS IN CHENNAI?
Whites Road

WHICH ROAD CELEBRATES TAX PAYERS IN CHENNAI?
PANtheon Road

WHERE DO MONGRELS LIKE TO LOAF AROUND IN CHENNAI?
RK Mutt Road

WHICH ROAD IN CHENNAI IS ADORED THE MOST BY CARDIAC SURGEONS?
Chennai Bypass Road

WHERE DO BIGAMISTS PREFER TO HOUSE THEIR SPOUSES IN CHENNAI?
The Inner Ring Road & the Outer Ring Road.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Adi Kadi # 48

STUDENTSUKKU PIDIKAADHA BUS EDHU?
Syllabus!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Blade Pakkiri wages a war against nations

1. AVASARA KUDUKKAI-KU PIDICHA NAADU EDHU?
Urgent-tina.

2. ORU SAAVU GRAAKI POGA VENDIYA NAADU EDHU?
Yemen

3. BISCUIT PIRIYARGAL VIRUMBUM NAADU EDHU?
Monaco

4.THERE ARE ONLY THREE COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD THAT GIVE NO RESPECT TO MEN. NAME THEM.
Cana-da, Rwan-da and Grena-da.

5. IF WE QUARANTINE ALL ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES IN AD AGENCIES, WHICH NATION ARE YOU LIKELY TO FORM?
UAE

6. IF STAND UP COMEDIANS WERE TO IMMIGRATE TO ONE COUNTRY, IT WILL BE…?
Siri-ya

7. WHICH IS THE PREFERRED DESTINATION OF MYSTERY NOVELISTS?
Poe-land

8. DEVA, KARUNAAS MADHIRI MAKKAL IRUKKA VENDIYA NAADU EDHU?
Ghana

9. WHICH IS THE ONLY TAM BRAM FRIENDLY NATION IN THE WORLD?
Iyer-land.

10. DRIVING SCHOOLS ELLAAM SERNDHU ORU COUNTRY FORM PANNA, ADHUKKU PEYAR ENNA VEKKALAAM?
L-Salvador

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Raja PJs

WHAT WAS RAJA'S 170,000 CRORE DILEMMA?
2G or not 2G.

WHAT IS RAJA'S FAVOURITE DRINK?
Spect-RUM.

WHAT WOULD RAJA DRINK IF HE WERE A TEETOTALLER?
TENDER-Coconut.

IF RAJA WERE A SOCCER PLAYER, WHAT WOULD BE HIS FAVOURITE SHOT?
Kickback

WHY DID THE GOVERNMENT OF INDIA DESIGNATE A.RAJA AS A VIP?
Because he has more 'suitcases' than any other minister.

WHICH GARDENING TECHNIQUE IS RAJA GOOD AT?
Graft

WHAT IS RAJA'S FAVOURITE SONG?
Give it to me, baby!

WHAT ARE RAJA'S FAVOURITE MOVIES?
Grease and Grease 2.

WHAT'S COMMON TO A PERSONAL COMPUTER AND RAJA'S MINISTRY?
Both are very likely to have corrupt files.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Adi Kadi # 47

WHY DIDN'T THE DEVOUT MUSLIM BHAI BUY KEROSENE?
Because he heard it's called KrishnOil.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Adi Kadi # 46

WHAT'S THE INSOMNIAC TAMILIAN'S FAVOURITE FOOD?
'Owl' Upma.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Adi Kadi # 45

WHAT DOES THE TAMIL DOG GET HIGH ON?
Stolich-naaya

Adi Kadi # 44

WHY DO INDIAN WOMEN STINK?
Because they are all Naaris :-)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Adi Kadi # 42

WHICH TURTLE IS A SOCIAL OUTCAST?
Theendaamai.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Adi Kadi # 41

WHO'S THE MOST COPYRIGHT-CONSCIOUS SINGER?
TM Sounderrajan.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Adi Kadi # 40

WHICH GRAPHIC DESIGN SOFTWARE IS UNBEATABLE IN CHESS?
Corel Draw.

Blade Pakkiri & Mani Matters

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RITUALISTIC TAMILIAN?
CereMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A STINGY TAMILIAN?
ParsiMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A NASTY TAMILIAN?
AcriMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TAMILIAN WITNESS?
TestiMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MUSICALLY INCLINED TAMILIAN?
HarMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHEMICALLY INCLINED TAMILIAN?
AntiMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A DOMINATING TAMILIAN?
HegeMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A HYPOCRITICAL TAMILIAN?
SanctiMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TAMILIAN DIVORCEE?
AliMani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FASHIONABLE TAMILIAN?
ArMani

Monday, July 24, 2006

Blade Pakkiri's Vanishing Act

IF TOYS 'R' US WERE TO SACK ALL ITS EMPLOYEES, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED?
We 'R' Us

AKBAR'S BIOGRAPHY WAS CALLED AKBARNAMA. BABAR'S WAS NAMED BABARNAMA. WHAT WILL BE THE APT TITLE FOR A QUITTER'S MEMOIRS?
Rajinama

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN INVISIBLE PUNJABI KUDI?
Missingh

WHAT DID CLARK KENT GET AFTER RETIREMENT?
Super Annuation

NO COMPANY WANTED TO RECRUIT MIDAS AS VP (HR). WHY?
Because every handshake of Midas was a Golden Handshake.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Adi Kadi # 36

WHAT IS A SIMBU COUNTDOWN?
Nayan, eight, seven, six, five...

Adi Kadi # 37

WHY SHOULD ANBUMANI BE IN THE INDIAN OLYMPIC TEAM?
Because he AIIMS well. And he fires as well.

Adi Kadi # 38

WHY IS CHENNAI NOT CLASSIFIED AS A VEGETARIAN CITY?
Yena Chennaila Eggmore irukku.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Thathuva Kadi # 16

Oru ambassador fiatukku maaralaam
Aana oru fiat ambassadorukku maaara mudiyuma?

Thathuva Kadi # 15

Tiruchikku ponaalum, Maduraikku ponaalum,
Madras Eye, Madras Eye dhaan.

Thathuva Kadi # 14

Idlikku chutney
Purushanukku pathini

Thathuva Kadi # 13

Male naata thedi pogalaam
Aana female naata thedi poga mudiyadhu

Thathuva Kadi # 12

Shankar-ra, Shankar aiya nu koopidalaam
Aana David-da, David aiya nu koopidalaama?

Thathuva Kadi # 11

Balla paathu nadungaravan bowledu
Balla paathu nadungaadhavan boldu

Thathuva Kadi # 10

PSBB pasanga dav adikkalaam
Aana DAV pasanga PSBB adikkamudiyadhu

Thathuva Kadi # 9

Fasta pannaaalum, slowa pannaalum
Medhu vada, medhu vada dhaan

Thathuva Kadi # 8

Enna dhaan sweeta irundhaalum sakkara vyaadhi pogaadhu.

Thathuva Kadi # 7

Enna dhaan karuppa irundha kooda
Patchai tamizhan, patchai tamizhan dhaan

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Thathuva Kadi # 6

Doctor patienta irukkalaam.
Aana patient doctora irukka mudiyaadhu.

Thathuva Kadi # 5

Cricket fieldera irundhaa missed call.
Mine fieldera irundha missed kaal.

Thathuva Kadi # 4

Jam potta kooda butterfly, butterfly dhaan.

Thathuva Kadi # 3

Nee enna dhaan Income Tax commissionera irundha kooda unakku worry vilakku kidaiyadhu.

Thathuva Kadi # 2

Car ra park pannalaaam.
Aana park ka car panna mudiyuma?

Thathuva Kadi # 1

Vannaan manasu vecha edha vena vellai aakiduvaan.
Aana edha vechalum manasa vellai aaka mudiyuma?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Adi Kadi # 39

SIGN OUTSIDE AN ANDHRA RESTAURANT:
Meals Reddy

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Kadi Boli # 33

FRITO LAYS PLANS TO LAUNCH A BRAND OF CHIPS THAT CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH. WHAT DO THEY INTEND TO CALL IT?
Chutkulays

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Adi Kadi # 40

WHAT DID THE TAMIL WALL SAY TO THE HINDI WALL POSTER?
Suvar key bacchey.

Adi Kadi # 41

WHICH GOATEE IS ALWAYS IN VOGUE IN COASTAL AREAS?
Padagoatee

Adi Kadi # 42

AVASARA KUDUKKAIKU PIDICHA RUM EDHU?
Seekrum

Adi Kadi # 43

MAN-1: MAPPILAI YANE NINNUNDEY THAALI KATRAAR
Man-2: Avar dhaan stand-up comedian aachey...

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Blade Pakkiri's Pharmacy

WHAT MEDICINE WILL YOU GET IF YOU KEEP A CAKE OF RIN DETERGENT IN THE REFRIGERATOR?
Colder Rin

HOW DO YOU PUT DOLLS TO SLEEP?
Give them Barbie-turates.

VAANDHI EDUKAADHA MEEN EDHU?
Avomeen

WHAT DID THE RETARD TAKE FOR KAAKAA VALEE?
Crow-cin.

WHICH MEDICINE IS VERY POPULAR WITH MUSLIMS WHO VISIT MECCA?
Haj-moola

AMONG ALL MEDICINES, WHAT DO NAATU VAIDHYAR’S FIND REALLY YUM?
Kashaayum

WHICH DRUG WAS FORMULATED TO CURE THE CONSTIPATION OF ASTERIX & COMPANY BY DRUID GETAFIX?
Isabo Gaul.

WHICH IS THE MOST TOP-OF-THE-MIND HEALTH BRAND AMONG CANDLE MAKERS?
Wicks

WOMEN IN TAMIL NADU DIDN’T COSY UP TO AN ENERGY DRINK FORMULATION BECAUSE THEY FOUND THE NAME QUITE DISRESPECTFUL. WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?
Glucon-D

IF ‘DON’ BECOMES A FLOP, FARHAN AKHTAR IS PLANNING TO SUBJECT THE AUDIENCE TO A SEQUEL. CAN YOU GIVE ME ITS WORKING TITLE?
Saridon

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Blade Pakkiri Earns The Iyengar's Ire

IF RICHARD BACH HAD INCLUDED AN ORTHODOX TAM BRAM CHARACTER IN HIS BOOK ‘JONATHAN LIVINGSTONE SEAGULL’, WHAT WOULD HE HAVE NAMED HIM AS?
Shastri Gull

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TAM BRAM SPINNER WHO CAN BOWL CHINAMANS & GOOGLIES?
Ambi-dextrous.

IF CHARLOTTE BRONTE HAD WRITTEN A TALE ABOUT A TAM BRAM LADY, WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ITS TITLE?
Jane Iyer

A TAM BRAM DAD HATED HIS TWIN CHILDREN. ONE HE NAMED ABISH. WHAT DID HE CALL THE OTHER BOY?
Abish 2

WHAT’S THE FAVOURITE DRINK OF THE TAM BRAM MALE?
Agraha Rum

WHAT’S THE FAVOURITE DRINK OF A TAM BRAM PRIEST?
Goth Rum

WHAT’S THE FAVOURITE DRINK OF THE TAM BRAM FEMALE?
Kanjeeva Rum

WHAT GUM DOES THE TAM BRAM ASTROLOGER LOVE TO CHEW?
Panchang Gum

IF RAHUL DRAVID HAD BEEN AN IYER BOY, WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HIS NICKNAME?
Iyerwall

A WHITE SKINNED LADY ADOPTED AN IYENGAR BOY OUT OF CULTURAL CURIOSITY. THEN SHE DUMPED HIM IN NO TIME. WHAT DO YOU CALL SUCH A LADY IN TAM BRAM PARLANCE?
Na Mum

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Blade Pakkri Turns Biscuit Bandit

PATAUDIKKU PIDICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Tiger

PAITHIYAKARANUKKU PIDICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Krackjack

MUTTAALKU PIDICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Bekuman's

SPLIT PERSONALITYKKU PIDHICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
50-50

AMMAN KOIL ARCHAGARUKKU PIDHICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Marie

GAMBLERUKKU PIDICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Monaco

CENTRAL MINISTERUKKU PIDICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Parle-Ji

DUBAI KARARNUKKU PIDICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Gold Biscuit

LEATHER MERCHANTUKKU PIDICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
Hide & Seek

DAYANIDHI MARANUKKU PIDHICHA BISCUIT EDHU?
SUN-Feast

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Blade Pakkiri Says Sayonara

WHAT WERE THE TWO THINGS HITLER LIKED ABOUT JAPAN?
Judo & Jujitsu. He thought they were jew-bashing techniques.

WHAT WAS HH MUNRO’S FAVOURITE BIKE?
Kawasaki

WHAT DID PAUL MCCARTNEY SAY AFTER SEEING JOHN LENNON’S GIRL FRIEND?
Yoko Oh No!

SAI BABA HAS A DISTANT COUSIN IN JAPAN. THEY SAY HE’S A 4-FOOTER. CAN YOU GIVE ME HIS NAME?
Bon Sai Baba

WHY DID THE BLONDE WHORE THINK, ALL JAPANESE MEN WERE POLITICIANS?
Because she often heard them say, “I have an election”.

JAPAN KARANUKKU PIDICHA KAAI EDHU?
Akai

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE IN JAPANESE?
Origamy

WHAT DO YOU CALL A JAPANESE IMMIGRANT WHO DABBLES IN PHOTOGRAPHY?
ReFuji

WHICH TAMIL SINGER’S NAME IS UTTERED OFTEN IN JAPANESE RESTAURANTS IN DELHI?
Sushi La

WHY DO SUMO WRESTLERS NEVER WISH TO BECOME PARLIAMENTARIANS?
Because in Japan, the parliament is called the Diet.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Blade Pakkiri's Gujarat Riot

IF A GUJJU GOLFER WERE TO WRITE AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY, WHAT WOULD BE ITS TITLE?
Putt Tale

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GUJJU GLASSMAKER?
She Shah

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GUJJU GIRL WHO SEEKS NIRVANA?
Kurt Co Ben

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GUJARATI BOOTLEGGER?
Daarubhai Ambani

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TALL AND THIN GUJARATI?
So-lanky

IF CHO RAMASAMI WERE TO MIGRATE TO GUJARAT, WHAT WOULD HE BE CALLED?
Kemcho Ramasami

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GUJJU DANCE LOVING RUSSIAN?
Garbachev

WHICH IS THE GUJJU’S FAVOURITE NUMBER?
Six. Because if you’re a Gujju everything ends with a chhe.

WHICH OUTLAW MOVIE WILL BE A BLOCKBUSTER IN GUJARAT?
Bhuj Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

WHY DID THE GUJJU GIRL CALL OFF HER WEDDING WITH THE TAMIL BOY?
Because she heard he had ordered for a Gujarati thali instead of a mangalsutra.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Blade Pakkiri Goes Canvassing

HOW MANY TOES DOES A POLITICIAN HAVE DURING ELECTIONS?
11 (including the manifestoe)

"YOU VOTE FOR ME, I'LL GIVE YOU A COLOUR TV," WHAT IS THE TWO WORD TERM FOR SUCH KICKBACKS?
Election Commission

WHICH IS THE ARASIYAL VAADHI'S MOST PREFERRED BREAK FAST ITEM?
Oats.

WHAT'S COMMON TO AN INDEPENDENT CANDIDATE AND A CHIT FUND?
Both lose their deposits.

VAIKO KUDIKKUM BAANAM EDHU?
Bamba Rum

WHY IS MK STALIN CONSIDERED DMK'S BRIGHTEST PROSPECT?
Because he's standing in Thousand Lights.

WHICH FORM OF DEATH DOES DAYANIDHI MARAN PREFER?
”Sethaalum, SUN-stroke la daan naan saavane!”

IF T. RAJENDAR WERE TO ASK SIMBU TO MAKE A MOVIE ON AMMA, WHAT WOULD THE CHIMP CALL IT?
Petti Jaya

MAN-1: AVAR YANE KALYAANA SAAPAADU SAAPDAAMA POITAARU…
MAN-2: Adhuva, avar DMK aalu. Pandhila oru ilai podrathu badhila retta illai pottutaangalaam!

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MOBILE POLLING BOOTH?
Walk-ku Chavadi.

Punch Dialogue # 3

Kalaignarukku vote potta aduppu varum.
Ammavukku vote potta kaduppu varum.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Adi Kadi # 44

BLADE PAKKIRI KNOWS ONLY 25 ENGLISH ALPHABETS. WHY?
Because he is in the business of Aru Y.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Adi Kadi # 45

BRUCE LEE'S RELATIVE WAS ONE OF THE KEY FIGURES BEHIND THE GREEN REVOLUTION IN INDIA. CAN YOU NAME HIM FOR ME?
Hariyalee.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Adi Kadi # 46

WHICH HINDI FILM SONG WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DOWNFALL OF THE TAMIL MAGAZINE, 'KALKI'?
Chodo Kalki batein. Kalki baat purani...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Blade Pakkiri Goes To Court

WHICH ITALIAN DISH IS NAMED AFTER AN INDIAN TENNIS PLAYER?
Lasania.

WHY DID THE POLICE CONSIDER ISSUING AN ARREST WARRANT IN THE NAME OF MR. SLAZENGER, IN THE YEAR 1881?
Because he had created a racket.

WHAT’S COMMON TO AN ACCOUNTANT & A TENNIS PLAYER?
Both detest the word ‘Dues’.

WHICH STYLE OF TENNIS DOES SUGREEV HATE?
Serve & Vaali.

WHY DID THE AD AGENCY HIRE A NEAR BANKRUPT BJORN BORG?
Because they heard he was good with baselines.

WHICH VEGETABLE REMINDS THE MALLU OF A LEGENDARY TENNIS PLAYER?
Lentil.

WHICH TENNIS PLAYER WAS VERY QUICK AT SOLVING PROBLEMS?
Maths Wilander.

WHICH TENNIS PLAYER WAS A HUGE HIT WITH BARBERS?
John Newcomb.

WHICH TENNIS PLAYER IS MOST LIKELY TO BE MISTAKEN FOR AN AMNESIAC?
Guy Forget.

LALOO PRASAD YADAV WAS INVITED TO PARTICIPATE IN A POLITICAL PROTEST IN PARIS. INSTEAD OF LANDING UP AT THE DEMONSTRATION AREA HE HEADED STRAIGHT TO ROLAND GARROS. WHY?
Because Rabri had told him that the biggest rallies happen there.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Adi Kadi # 47

WHAT IS THE TAMIL WORD FOR A WOMAN PACE BOWLER WITH A SUSPECT ACTION?
Chuckalathi.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Blade Pakkiri Loves Arjun Singh

WHAT IS AN ARJUN SINGH SALE?
49.5% off.

WHAT IS AN ARJUN SINGH MUSIC PLAYER?
One with no Fast Forward button.

WHAT IS AN ARJUN SINGH CAR?
One that travels only in reverse gear.

WHICH IS ARJUN SINGH’S FAVOURITE CITY?
Kota

WHY DOESN’T ARJUN SINGH HAVE TOO MANY THAKUR FRIENDS?
Because he’s ‘reserved’ by nature.

WHY DID ARJUN SINGH LEARN ARABIC?
So that he could read ‘backwards’.

ARJUN SINGH WAS MADE THE LAW MINISTER. HE ZAPPED EVERYONE BY CREATING ANOTHER SUPREME COURT. HE CALLED IT THE SUPREME TRIBUNAL. WHAT WAS HIS LOGIC?
For every SC, there should be an ST.

IF ARJUN SINGH WERE TO MAKE A CAREER IN FILMS, WHICH JOB WOULD HE OPT FOR?
Choosing the caste.

IF ARJUN SINGH OWNED A MOVIE THEATER, WHAT WOULD THE BALCONY BE CALLED?
Backward Class

IF ARJUN SINGH WERE A HISTORIAN, HOW WOULD HE DIVIDE TIME?
AD, BC & OBC.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Adi Kadi # 48

ARASIYALVAADHIKUM SOODHAATTAKAARANUKKUM ENNA VIDHYAASAM?
Soodhaatakaaran kaasa vaachu seat vaanguvaan, arasiyalvaadhi seata vechu kaasu vaanguvaan!

Monday, April 03, 2006

Adi Kadi # 49

WHICH IS ACTRESS RAMBA'S FAVOURITE MONTH?
Thigh maasam.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Adi Kadi # 50

WHY DOES HARKISHEN SINGH SURJEET HATE BLOGS?
Because most of them dish out RSS feeds.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Adi Kadi # 91

WHAT DO YOU CALL A PUNJABI BATSMAN?
Balle Balle Baaz.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Adi Kadi # 21

WHICH MUSIC BAND IS POPULAR WITH DOGS?
Bony-M.

Adi Kadi # 20

WHAT WAS THE GUCCI BRAND CALLED AFTER DOWNSIZING?
Oma-Gucci.

Adi Kadi # 19

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN UPWARDLY MOBILE RAT?
Eli-vator.

Adi Kadi # 18

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RAT WITH WINGS?
Eli-copter.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Punch Dialogue # 2

Aan paala irukkattum...aavin paala irukattum....paal irundhaal dhaan aadai.

Adi Kadi # 17

PULLI RAJAVUKKU PIDICHA GAME ENNAVO?
Adu Pulli Aatam.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Punch Dialogue # 1

Kamal, Vikram la nadichirukaaru. Aana Vikram, Kamal la nadikkamudiyuma.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Adi Kadi # 16

INSPECTOR: INDHA LETTERRA YARO TIRUPATHI LENDHU AMICHIRUKKANGA...
CONSTABLE: Eppidi saar kandupidicheenga!
INSPECTOR: YANE NA IDHU MOTTA KADIDASU!

Friday, February 24, 2006

Adi Kadi # 15

MAN-1: ANDHA MAMA YANE ROMBA KUZHANDA THANAMA BEHAVE PANRAARU?
MAN-2: Adhu onnum illai, avar peru chandamama, adhaan appidi...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Kadi Boli # 4

MAN: Sirjee, can you give me a lift?
SURD: Oi, I am Santa Singh. Not Otis Singh.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Adi Kadi # 14

IF WE MOVE A GIRL NAMED THANGAM FROM PLANET EARTH TO MOON, WHAT WILL SHE BECOME?
Massatra Thangam.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Kadi Boli # 3

Kudi Kudiyai Kedukkum is not a Punjabi lesbian movie.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Kadi Boli # 2

I HAVE A ZARA HATKE PLOT FOR A HINDI FILM. IT'S ABOUT TWO CHARACTERS. VEERU & BASANTI OF SHOLAY. THEY FALL IN LOVE. GET ENGAGED. LIVE WITH EACH OTHER. BUT DURING THIS LIVE-IN, VEERU DISCOVERS BASANTI'S SECRET AFFAIR WITH JAI. AGHAST HE CALLS OFF THE ENGAGEMENT. AND IN THE CLIMAX ELOPES WITH RADHA AS A REVENGE ON BASANTI. CAN YOU TELL ME AN APT NAME FOR THIS POTENTIAL BLOCKBUSTER?
Ring Dey Basanti.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Blade Pakkiri's Punjabi Dhaba

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FUNNY SURD?
Amuse Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO OWNS A BEAUTY PARLOUR?
Wax Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO’S FULL OF HYPE?
Advertise Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO WANTED TO BE AN AE?
Service Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO’S A MARRIAGE BROKER?
Match Fix Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A COOL SURD?
Pierce Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO NEVER GETS YOUR JOKE?
Still Process Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO FIRES EMPLOYEES?
Right Size Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE?
Crystal Gay Singh

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO GETS SCREWED LEFT, RIGHT & CENTER?
Manmohan Singh

Monday, January 30, 2006

Adi Kadi # 13

ANDHRA KARANUKKU PIDIKAADHA TEA EDHU?
Gol-tea.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Blade Pakkiri's Russian Roulette

WHAT DO YOU CALL A STINKING RUSSIAN?
Yuri Nal

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RUSSIAN WHO LOVES INDIAN JUNK FOOD?
Dmitri Vadapov

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RUSSIAN CHEF WHO’S INTO SOUTH INDIAN CUISINE?
Ivan Dosamov

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SWEET RUSSIAN LADY IN CHENNAI?
Marina Palgova

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RUSSIAN WHO IS PERPETUALLY UNDER PRESSURE?
Konstantin Dabov

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CORRUPT RUSSIAN WHO NEEDS KICKBACKS ALL THE TIME?
Boris Paisalov

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RUSSIAN WHORE?
Tatiana Bajadiuski

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RUSSIAN WHO INVARIABLY GETS THRASHED?
Maxim Markhov

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RUSSIAN MAFIAMAN?
Vladimir Mobokov

WHICH GRAND MASTER COULD COMFORTABLY PASS HIMSELF OFF AS AN ANDHRAITE?
Gary Kaspa Rao

Monday, January 23, 2006

Blade Pakkiri Turns Blade Pakkilee

WHICH IS BRUCE LEE’S FAVOURITE MUSHY SONG?
Trulee, Madlee, Deeplee.

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE EMPTY HEADED COUSIN OF BRUCE LEE?
Kha Lee

TWO OF BRUCE LEE’S NEPHEWS FELL IN LOVE WITH A MORONIC GIRL. AN ENTERPRISING BOLLYWOOD FILMMAKER MADE A HINDI FLICK ON THIS LOVE TRIANGLE. NAME THE FILM FOR ME.
Ek Fool Do Malee

HOW DOES A BRUCE LEE TOY FEEL?
Cudd Lee

WHAT’S THE NAME OF BRUCE LEE’S SISTER IN LAW?
Sa Lee

WHICH IS BRUCE LEE’S FAVOURITE TOURIST SPOT?
Ba Lee

WHAT’S THE NAME OF BRUCE LEE’S RELATIVE WHO BECAME A POET?
PB Shelee

WHAT’S THE NAME OF BRUCE LEE’S FAT AUNT?
Rollee Pollee

WHAT’S THE NAME OF BRUCE LEE’S NEICE WHO WAS FAMOUS FOR HER RUNNING NOSE?
Mook Shall Lee

WHAT DO YOU CALL BRUCE LEE’S WIDOW?
Amanga Lee

Friday, January 20, 2006

Kadi Boli # 1

Uttar Pradesh kay kuch gaon mein, aaj bhi, na nal hai, na urinal.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Climbs The Mount

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ANGLO INDIAN DJ?
Recording

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FOUL MOUTHED ANGLO INDIAN?
Scolding

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ANGLO WHO OWES PEOPLE MONEY?
Outstanding

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ANGLO WHO’S ABOUT TO CROAK?
Fading

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MISCHEIVOUS ANGLO?
Just Kidding

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN OBSESE ANGLO WHO’S TAKEN TO DIETING?
Load Shedding

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ANGLO WHO’S A PIECE OF SHIT?
Dingleberry

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ANGLO WHO MAKES CHINESE CLOCKS?
Ding Dong

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ANGLO WHO DABBLES IN TYPOGRAPHY?
Wing Ding

WHAT IS THE ANGLO’S FAVOURITE SONG?
Chuck Berry’s ‘Ding-a-ling’

Adi Kadi # 13

WHICH FOLK SINGER IS HUGELY POPULAR WITH ORNITHOLOGISTS?
'Paravai' Muniyamma.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Kutchery

WHICH RAAGA IS A HOT FAVOURITE WITH BEER GUZZLERS?
Kalyani

WHICH RAAGA IS QUITE POPULAR WITH CATS?
Meow Ki Malhaar

WHICH RAAGA WILL THEY PLAY AT RAILWAY STATIONS?
Aa-bogey

FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS WILL LOVE THIS RAAGA. WHICH ONE?
Comboji

NAME THE RAAGA THAT’S DEAR TO VEGETABLE VENDORS.
Keerai-vani

WHICH RAAGA IS LIKELY TO BE A HIT WITH ACCOUNTANTS?
Bill-a-hurry

WHICH RAAG IS BEST FOR PEOPLE WHO LISTEN TO A LITTLE CARNATIC MUSIC?
Thodi

JEWS DON’T RELISH THIS RAAGA. WHICH ONE?
Arabi

WHICH RAAGA IS A RAGE WITH SUN TV?
Kalaanidhi

WHICH RAAGA IS ALWAYS ON ASHA BHOSLE’S LIPS?
Panchamam

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Sting Operation

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEE IN A QUANDARY?
Maybee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAT BEE?
Chubbee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A COUGHING BEE?
TB

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE BEE?
Barbee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TAMILIAN BEE?
Thambee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SHORT TEMPERED BEE?
Crabbee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A JEWISH BEE?
Rabbee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SOULLESS BEE?
Zombee

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ACTOR BEE?
Big B

WHAT DO YOU CALL A DREAMER BEE?
Wannabee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A COMICAL BEE?
Weatherbee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A WRITER BEE?
HB

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEE WITH A SWEET TOOTH?
Jilaybee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEE’S FIANCÉ?
Would-bee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEE’S SPOUSE?
Bee Bee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEE THAT WATCHES HINDI MOVIES OFF AND ON?
Kabee Kabee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEE WITH A LONG LIFE?
Lumbee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A NEW BEE IN TOWN?
Ajnabee

NAME THE BEE’S ONLY HOLIDAY.
Milad-un-Nabee

WHAT DO THE BEES LOVE PLAYING?
Frisbee

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Adi Kadi # 12

WHO IS THE COOLEST BUSINESSMAN IN TAMIL NADU?
AC Muthiah.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Adi Kadi # 11

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL A 'SHAPELY HIPS BEAUTY CONTEST' IN TAMIL?
Idai Therdhal.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Adi Kadi # 10

WHY IS TAMIL SNACK FOOD BEST SUITED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE DIETING?
Because Tamil snack food is all about consuming Thin Pandangal.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Kills The Bong

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RAMBLING BONG?
Ver Bose

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SPORTY BONG?
Adi Das

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BONG WHO’S THE RESERVED TYPE?
Babu More Shy

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BONG WHO’S A GEM OF A SINGER?
Tan Sen

WHAT DO YOU CALL A DOG-LOVING BONG?
Bow-mick

WHAT DO YOU CALL A NOODLES-LOVING BONG?
Chow-dary

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BILLBOARD-LOVING BONG?
Banner-jee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A DUCK-LOVING BONG?
Ganguly

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BONG WHO LOVES TO GO ON STRIKE?
Bandh-o-padhyay

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TALL BONG WHO LOVES DANCING?
Lamba-da

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BONG WITH A SPLIT PERSONALITY?
Dey (as in They)

IF THE PHANTHOM COMIC WERE TO BE MADE AS A BONG MOVIE, WHAT WOULD BE AN APT TITLE?
The Ghosh Who Walks.

IAN FLEMING ONCE HAD ASTORY IDEA ABOUT A QUAINT BENGALI COUPLE WHO NEVER MEET EACH OTHER, BUT STILL KEEP THEIR ROMANCE ALIVE BY EXCHANGING LOVE LETTERS, ALL THEIR LIVES. CAN YOU GIVE ME THE NAME OF THIS SEMINAL BOOK, WHICH NEVER SAW THE LIGHT OF THE DAY?
Chitti Chitti Bong Bong

WHICH BONG HOLDS THE RECORD FOR VISITING THE MOST NUMBER OF PLACES?
Kil Roy. They say, wherever he went, he wrote ‘Kil roy was here’.

BINNY, BEEDI & BITCHY ARE THREE WORDS BONGS ASSOCIATE WITH X. NAME X.
Julius Caesar.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Adi Kadi # 9

WHAT'S THE TAMIL WORD FOR 'LIGHT PAIN'?
Deepa-vali.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Adi Kadi # 8

Broker: Saar oru super jaathagam irukku. Ponnu peru Vibha. Software padichurukka. Nalla kudumbam. Nalla sambalam. Nalla samaippa. Yane, onga paiyan Chaari madhiri nalla kadi jokekum adipa. Paarkalaama?
Father of groom: No. Vanedaam. Vittudunga.
Broker: Yane vanedaamnu solreenga?
Father of groom: Ada poya! Marriage mudinjaatu maatu ponnu peru vibha-chaari nu aiyidum. Enga maanam kappal eri poyidum.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Adi Kadi # 7

GAJNI PADAM KADHAANAYAGAN SANJAY RAMASAMY ATM LENDHU PANAM WITHDRAW PANRADHUKKU THAAN KAYILLA OREY ORU CLUE TATTOO PANNI VECHURUPAAR. ADHU ENNA? ADHUKKU PINNADI YENNA LOGIC?
Tattoo: Ask a girl for the PIN number. Logic: Penn budhi, PIN buddhi.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Adi Kadi # 6

WOMAN-1: ONGA PURUSHAN HOTEL VEKKIRITHUKKU MUNAALA BANK LA VELAI PAARTHARA, ENNA?
Woman-2: Eppidi kandu pidicha?
WOMAN-1: ADHAAN DAILY VIDAAMA, BREAK FASTUKKU 'VANGI BATH' PODRAAREY!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Adi Kadi # 5

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN INTERNET SAVVY TAMIL AUNTY?
eMami.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Mixed Raita

NORMAL COUPLES PREFER DATING. THE ADVENTUROUS ONES FAVOUR BLIND DATING. WHAT DO ARCHAELOGIST COUPLES FANCY?
Carbon Dating.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A HOPELESS MALLU WHO ALWAYS FINISHES LAST?
Abys-mull.

WHY DID THE SARDARJI BUY AN IRON BOX FROM THE ELECTRICAL STORE?
Because his doctor told him he had iron deficiency.

LUCIANO PAVAROTTI WOULD BE ELECTED THE MAYOR OF THIS CITY WITHOUT ANY DIFFICULTY. WHICH CITY?
Obesity.

NAME THE ANTHEM OF CHESS PLAYERS IN VARANASI.
Khayikae pawn banaras wala…

WHICH KEY DID THE CHOR USE FOR BREAKING INTO A BUNGALOW WITH AN UNBREAKABLE DARWAZA?
Khid-key.

HUSBAND: ENNA KITCHENLA OREY DAMAAL DOMEEL NU SOUNDU?
Wife: ‘Idi’ appam panrane, adhaan!

VEERAMANI: YANE SAAR DRAVIDA KAZHAGAM KU IPPO MADHIPEY ILLA?
Numerologist: Decay nu peyar vecha adu dhaney nadakkum.

WATCHING WHICH KAMAL FLICK COULD BE INIMICAL TO A DOG’S HEALTH?
Tick Tick Tick

WHY SHOULD MASSAGE PARLOURS BE FREELY ALLOWED IN INDIA?
Because India supports the ‘Freedom of Press’.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Dance Class

WHAT DO YOU CALL A STUNNING LOOKING DANSEUSE IN TAMIL?
‘Aatam’ Bomb.

BRUCE LEE HAD A DISTANT COUSIN WHO LEARNT BHARATANATYAM. WHAT WAS HIS NAME?
Salangai O Lee.

WHAT’S THE NAME OF SATYAJIT RAY’S NEICE WHO BECAME A RAGE BY PERFORMING IN MANY NIGHT CLUBS IN KOLKATTA?
Caba Ray.

MANOJ NIGHT SHYAMALANUKKU PIDICHA DANCE EDHU?
‘Twist’ Dance.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A DANCE TEACHER IN HINDI?
Ghun-guru.

IF SIVAJI GANESAN HAD PLAYED A BALLET DANCER, WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN APT TITLE FOR THE MOVIE?
Ballet Pandya.

THE NOW FAMOUS EPANG, OPANG & CHAPANG WERE OFFSPRINGS OF THE LEGENDARY SIKKIMESE BOXER NAMED DAPANG. THIS CELEBRATED PUGILIST HAD A VERY UNIQUE STYLE OF LANDING PUNCHES ON HIS OPPONENTS. WHICH DANCE FORM DID THIS FREESTYLE OF BOXING, INSPIRE?
Dapang Kuthu.

WHICH INDIAN DANCE WAS SO ENCHANTING THAT THE GREEKS WROTE AN EPIC ABOUT IT?
Odissi.

WHICH DANCE FORM IS OFTEN HERALDED BY THE APPEARANCE OF A METRO WATER TANK IN CHENNAI?
The ‘Tap’ Dance.

WHICH BRAND OF ICE CREAMS IS HUGELY POPULAR WITH DANCERS IN VIENNA?
Walls.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Foray Into Politics

WHICH IS VAIKO’S PREFERRED MODE OF PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION?
‘Kaal’ Taxi

WHY DID MANMOHAN SINGH DENY RAM BILAS PASWAN, THE RAILWAY MINISTRY?
Because Ram Bilas wanted a 42% reservation for Dalits in the Unreserved coaches.

WHAT’S THE NAME OF VEERAMANI’S NEW ADHESIVE FOR OLD PEOPLE?
Dravida Kazha Gum

INSPIRED BY SONIA GANDHI, JACKIE CHAN DECIDED TO ENTER INDIAN POLITICS. WITH HIS NAME & FAME, HE WAS SURE TO GET SOME VOTES. BUT HIS ADVISERS FELT HIS NAME NEEDS AN INDIAN TOUCH. SO WHAT NAME CHANGE DID THEY RECOMMEND?
Jackie Chan-akya.

WHAT DID THE COMMUNIST ORDER IN THE FURNITURE STORE?
Polit Bureau

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE FINANCE MINISTER'S LOO IN PARLIAMENT?
Pee Chidambaram.

WHAT’S COMMON TO THE UPA AGENDA FOR GOVERNANCE AND THE MARCH PAST?
Both go Left, Left, Left, Right, Left…

WHY WAS PH PANDIAN A BIG HIT WITH CHEMISTS?
Because as an assembly speaker he was neither too basic, nor too acidic.

WHICH LIGHT DO THE COMMUNISTS TURN TO WHEN IT’S REALLY DARK?
The Naxalite

IF ONE WERE TO MAKE A MOVIE ON THE BJP NOW, WHAT WOULD BE AN APT TITLE?
Fight Club

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Veg Kadis

1. WHAT DID THE SENAI KIZHANGU TELL THE SCARED COOK?
‘Yam’ irukka bhayam yane.

2. WHICH IS THE HOTTEST VEGETABLE IN CHENNAI?
‘Katri’ Kaai.

3. WHY DON’T PRESSURE COOKERS WHISTLE IN ANDHRA?
Because in Andhra nadu, a kukka always barks.

4. WHAT DO YOU CALL A TOMATO, WHEN IT REACHES A MARRIAGEABLE AGE?
‘Mana’ Thakkali.

5. WHICH IS THE MOST CUT STONE IN TAMIL NADU?
Vadak-kal. Yena adha ellarum vettu vettunu vettuva.

6. ENDHA POO THANEERIL KARAIYUM?
Up-poo

7. WHICH BAR IS A HUGE HIT WITH TAMILIAN TEETOTALLERS?
Saam-bar

8. WHAT DO YOU CALL A ROTTEN CAN OF BEANS?
Has-Beans.

9. WHICH IS THE DOG’S FAVOURITE VEG SNACK?
Bone-da

10. PUDUSA ORU KAAI TAMIZHAGATHIL VANDHA POZHUDHU, ANDHA KAAIYAI VAANGIYE THEERUVANE ENRU KAMBAR LINE LA NINAARAAM. IDHAN PIRAGU, PEYAR ILLA KAAIYIKKU PEYAR SOOTA PATTADHU. ANDHA KAAIYIN PEYAR ENNAVAGA IRUKKUM?
Queue-Kambar.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Kosu Kadis

WHY ARE TAMILIANS PRONE TO GOITRE?
Since they are curd rice freaks, Tamilians have elongated thayir-oid glands.

WHY DO BOMBAY BUS DRIVERS LOVE THE KUNGUMAM ADS?
Because the Kungumam ads keep plugging the line, BEST kanna best.

WHICH IS THE PREFERRED MODE OF TRANSPORT FOR BULLS & BEARS?
‘Share’ Auto

COMMUNISTIKKU PIDICHA GAME EDHU?
Carrom. Yena game la striker illama velaye nadakaadhu.

TAMIL GODS DECIDED TO START A PORTAL FOR THEMSELVES. WHAT DID THEY NAME IT?
e-Ryvan.com

WHICH RAJINI SONG IS VERY POPULAR WITH GOLFERS?
‘Putt-um Padaamaley’

BRUCE LEE’S DISTANT COUSIN IS SAID TO HAVE SETTLED DOWN IN TAMIL NADU AS A JEWELLER. CAN YOU NAME HIM FOR ME?
Chungi Lee

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SURD WHO WORKS IN A PUB?
Cool-Beer Singh

WHICH BIKE IS A HUGE HIT WITH CATS?
Bajaj Eli-minator.

WHY ARE ASHRAMS ALWAYS LUSH GREEN?
Because ashrams are full of seeder-gal.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Returns From Vanvaas

HANUMAN ODA FAVOURITE KADAI EDHU?
Vaal-Mart

RAM, LAKSHMAN, BHARAT & SHATRUGAN DECIDED TO FORM A COMPANY TO MANUFACTURE WEAPONS. WHAT NAME DID THEY CHOOSE FOR THEIR JOINT VENTURE?
Bow-Fours

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who’s that?
RA.
Ra who?
RAHU & KETU.

WHAT THE GODS & DEMI-GODS DRINK
Kauravas – 100 Pipers
Eklavya – Thums Up
Lord Shiva – Shiva’s Regal
Lord Krishna – Kannan Devan Tea
Pandavas – Chota Coke (Kyonki paanch matlab Chota Coke)

THE KAURAVA TV WAS UNABLE TO DO A LIVE TELECAST OF THE DRAUPADI VASTRAHARAN DUE TO LORD KRISHNA’S MAGICAL ABILITY TO JAM THEIR NETWORK. HOW DID DURYODHANA’S CHANNEL HANDLE THIS SNAFU?
By putting out the message – Sari for the break.

HOW DID RAVANA SERENADE SITA, WHEN HE FIRST CAST HIS EYES ON HER?
By singing ‘dus bahaney kar key le gaye dil’.

WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO TAKE A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY?
Duryodhana. He took a Jeevan Bheema policy before his fight-to-the-finish with the pawan putra.

IF HANUMAN HAD WRITTEN THE RAMAYANA, WHAT WOULD HE HAVE CALLED IT?
A Tail of 2 Cities.

IF GAANDHARI HAD MARRIED PANDU, HER OFFSPRINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN COLLECTIVELY CALLED_______________. FILL IN THE BLANK.
Gaandus.

WHO’S THE CRAZIEST GOD IN HINDU MYTHOLOGY?
Nut Raj

Monday, August 08, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Arrested

The cops in Chennai have arrested Blade Pakkiri for being a public nuisance. The buzz is Blade Pakkiri has been sentenced to 30 days of rigorous imprisonment. The news has been greeted with widespread relief. But a quick opinion poll by Gallupyours revealed that the general public is uneasy over the repercussions of this act. They wonder what is in store for them, after this breather. Only time will tell.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Turns Legal Eagle

IF PAMELA ANDERSON HAD BEEN AN INDIAN CITIZEN, SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN HAULED UP BY THE INCOME TAX DEPARTMENT ON WHAT COUNT?
Disproportionate Assets.

ACTOR JET LI ALWAYS WANTED TO PRACTICE LAW IN INDIA. BUT HE WAS WORRIED THAT HIS NAME MIGHT WORK AGAINST HIM. SO WHAT NAME CHANGE DID HE CONSIDER FOR BEING SUCCESSFUL IN INDIAN COURTS?
Arun Jet Li

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEDIOCRE LAWYER?
Plain Vanillaw

MAN-1: YANE SIR MADRAS HIGH COURT JUDGE ELLAM BAYANGARA GUNDA IRUPANGA POLA IRRUKEY…
MAN-2: Eppidi kandu pidicheenga?
MAN-1: ADHAAN ELLA VAKEELUM JUDGA PAARTHU ‘GANAM’ KOTTAAR AVARGELEY NU SOLVAANGALAAMEY.

WHAT’S THE FAVOURITE DRINK OF A CRIMINAL LAWYER?
Bailee’s

MADURA GARMENTS IS SERIOUSLY TOYING WITH THE IDEA OF HAVING A BRAND EXTENSION TO CATER TO LAWYERS. WHAT’ S THE NAME THEY HAVE IN MIND?
Allan Solly Sorabjee

MAN-1: ANDHA JUDGE ODA NAI YANE NAGARA MAATENGUDHU?
MAN-2: Yena avar daily ‘stay order’ kodupaaraamey!

A SADISTIC JUDGE, WHO WAS HEAVILY INTO TYPOGRAPHY, IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN THE INVENTOR OF THE UPPER CASE. WHY DID HE CREATE THE UPPER CASE?
Because he believed mankind deserved capital punishment.

VAKEEL SAARUKKU PIDICHA COOKING OIL PERU ENNA?
Saffolaw

SANTA SINGH WAS A SUCCESSFUL LAWYER IN DELHI. HE HAD BEEN A TEETOTALER ALL HIS LIFE. THEN ONE FINE DAY HE SIGNED UP WITH ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS. WHY?
Because he discovered he had been a member of the bar for over 15 years.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Brush With Painting

WHICH PAINTER’S NAME IS CHANTED ALMOST DAILY IN KERALA?
Claude Monet. His name is taken when mallus say Endha Monay.

ORU VETPAALARKUM PAINTERKUM ULLA OREY THODARBU ENNA?
Rendu peru thozhilummey canvas panradhu dhaney!

IF SAURAV GANGULY WERE A PAINTER, WHICH SCHOOL OF ART WOULD HE BELONG TO?
Dada-ism.

MAN-1: PAIYAN NALLA PAINTER NU SONNEY, ORU PAINTINGUM KAANAMEY?
MAN-2: Sevura paarunga saar, supera white wash panirukaarey.

WHICH ART FORM WAS PIONEERED BY A LAZY MALLU?
Mini-mull-ism

AN INDIAN VILLAIN BROKE INTO THE LOUVRE IN PARIS AND TORE THE MASTERPIECE MONA LISA PAINTING INTO TWO HALVES. HE STOLE ONE HALF AND LEFT BEHIND THE OTHER HALF WITH A SMALL NOTE. WHO WAS THE VILLAIN? AND WHAT DID HIS NOTE SAY?
‘Saara-sheher-mujhe-loin-ke-naam-se-jaanta-hai’ Ajit. His note said: Lisa aapka sona, aure mere liye Mona.

MAN-1: AVAR PAL YANE MANJALLA IRUKKU?
MAN-2: Adhaa, brushla tooth paste-ku badhila paint potutaru.

WHICH OLYMPIAN ATHLETE WAS A SURREALIST AT HEART?
The decathlon champ, Dali Thompson.

MANY TAMILIAN FANS HAD THIS IMPRESSION THAT THE GREAT PAINTER LEONARDO WAS QUITE EFFEMINATE. SO WHAT DID HE DO TO DISPEL HIS NOTION?
He put a da in his name and came to be known as Leonardo da Vinci.

THERE IS A THEORY THAT VINCENT VAN GOGH WAS A TAMILIAN. WHICH FAMOUS EPISODE IS CITED AS PROOF FOR THIS THEORY?
One night, it seems, the moody Van Gogh had a session with a telugu whore. He was so happy that he wanted to do it again and again. The lady was extremely tired. So she declined his offer by saying ‘kaadhu’ in her language, which means NO. Van Gogh being a tamilian, thought she was asking for his ‘kaadhu’, so he chopped his ear and gave it to her. The rest is history.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Blade Pakkiri’s Tooth For a Tooth

WHICH HINDI SONG IS AN ODE TO A TAMIL DENTIST?
Main pal do pal ka shaayar hoon.

WATCHMAN LOG KYA TOOTHPASTE PASAND KARTEIN HAIN?
Khol Gate.

A DENTURES SALES WOMAN MARRIED A YOUNG MAN FOR HIS BEAUTIFUL TEETH. BUT IMMEDIATELY AFTER MARRIAGE, THE YOUNG MAN DEVELOPED ACUTE TOOTH ACHE. SO HE WENT TO A DENTIST, WHO EASED HIS PAIN BY PULLING OUT HIS TEETH. HIS WIFE WAS AGHAST, AS HE NO LONGER LOOKED PRINCE CHARMING. YET SHE STUCK WITH HIM. WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THIS STORY?
Pal aanaalum kanavan. Pull aanaalum purushan.

IF GANDHIJI HAD WRITTEN A TREATISE ON DENTISTRY, WHAT WOULD BE ITS TITLE?
My Experiments With Tooth.

A DENTAL CONFERENCE WAS ORGANISED IN CHENNAI. WHAT WAS THE PREFFERED MODE OF TRANSPORT FOR THE DELEGATES?
Pal-lavan Transport.

WHAT IS THE ABRACADABRA EQUIVALENT OF A DENTIST TURNED MAGICIAN?
Chew-Mantrakaali.

WHY DID GEORGE DUBYA BUSH PARTY WHEN HE TURNED 50?
Because the lord almighty blessed him with a Wisdom Tooth.

IF DENTISTS IN TAMILNADU FORM A POLITICAL PARTY, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED?
Pal Kalai Kazhagam.

ULAGATHILEY MIGA LIGHTANA PAL EDHU?
Kap-pal.

MAN-1: NAME BOARDEY PODALAYE, NAAN DENTIST-NU EPPIDI KANDUPIDICHEENGA?
MAN-2: Kadhavila ‘Push’ sticker badhila ‘Pull’ paartha udaneye guess punitane.

DENTIST YANE EXAM EZHUDA MAATANGA?
Yena they prefer oral examination.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Plays Shrink

WHAT WAS SIGMUND FREUD’S FAVOURITE INDIAN FOOD?
Id-li.

WHO WAS THE FIRST SPLIT PERSONALITY OF INDIA?
Jarasandha. Because Bheema split his body into two.

IF JOHN WOO HAD A TWIN BROTHER, WHAT WOULD BE HIS NAME?
Déjà vu.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MUSLIM WITH A MEMORY PROBLEM?
Amne-shia.

WHY DID THE SHRINK TREAT MRS.MALATHI FOR PHALLIC FIXATION?
Because she named her sons – Rama Lingam, Sundara Lingam & Chocka Lingam.

A TAMILIAN NARCISSIST WENT TO A RESTAURANT. WHAT DID HE ORDER?
Naan.

A MANIC DEPRESSIVE WALKED INTO AN ELECTRICAL STORE IN INDIA. HE ENDED UP BUYING A FAN AFTER TALKING TO THE SALESMAN. WHAT DID HE BUY AND WHY?
A Polar Fan. Because he heard the salesman say: Buy-Polar Fans.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A PARANOID CHINAMAN?
Bayandhaan Kul Lee.

WHY DID THE BUILDER VISIT THE SHRINK?
Because he had developed a huge complex.

WHAT WOULD BE AN APT NAME FOR A NATION BUILT EXCLUSIVELY FOR PSYCHIATRISTS?
Hallucination.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Resorts To Chemical Warfare

WHAT IS THE PET NAME, ASSIGNED BY EUNUCHS, FOR THE ELEMENT FLUORINE?
Chemical Ali. Because it’s the element number 9.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A RETARD IN AN OXYGEN PARLOUR?
Oxy-moron

WHICH IS THE ONLY POLITICAL PARTY THAT MEETS THE BASIC DEMANDS OF CHEMISTS?
Alkali Dal

DAIMLER BENZ PLANS TO MAKE A DREAM CAR FOR CHEMISTS. WHAT DO THEY PLAN TO CALL IT?
Mercedes Benzene

WHAT IS THE ARABIC WORD FOR CHEMIST?
Al-Chemist

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE PROGENY OF A CHEMIST COUPLE?
Test tube babies.

WHAT WOULD BE THE CHEMIST’S REPLY IF YOU SAID, ‘KNOCK KNOCK WHO IS THAT’?
Unleaded Petrol.

WHAT IS COMMON TO A NAXALITE & A CHEMIST?
Both support the Free Radical Movement.

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL:
A HORNY CHEMIST - Hump-Free Davy
AN ANGRY CHEMIST – Robert Boil
A RELIGIOUS CHEMIST – Joseph Priestly

IF OXYGEN WERE A ROCK STAR, WHAT WOULD ITS BAND NAME BE?
Air Supply.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Bites Mallus

A TAMILIAN NAMED RANGA WENT BANANAS AFTER HE WAS SUMMARILY TRANSFERRED FROM CHENNAI TO PALAKKAD. WHAT DO THEY CALL HIM NOW?
Nend Ranga

WHAT IS THE ONE WORD FOR A THINKING TOILET?
Mull-Loo:-)

WHAT IS THE MALLU’S FAVOURITE SPIRIT?
Trivand Rum

WHY WOULD YOU NEVER FIND A TINY BOX IN KERALA?
Because Small Box has been eradicated.

WHICH RAJINI SONG WAS A HUGE HIT IN NAIR KADAIS?
Maya Maya Ellaam Maya. Chaya Chaya Ellam Chaya…

NOT ONE SINGLE MALLU GIRL WANTED TO MARRY INDIAN OPENER CHAUHAN. WHY?
Because he was Chettan Chauhan.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BITCHY MALLU?
Mull-icious

WHY DID THE KERALITE JOIN PHI BETA KAPPA?
Because he thought it was a mallu restaurant.

WHICH TALCUM POWDER IS VERY POPULAR WITH MALLUS?
Kutty-cura

HOW DOES THE CHURCH CLASSIFY KERALA WOMEN?
Nun, Menon & May-not-nun

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Turns Ugh Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL BRUCE LEE JUNIOR?
Lil Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS STUPID SISTER?
Sil Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS MISTRESS?
Ho Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS BASTARD CHILD?
Fol Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS EVIL NIECE?
Vil Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS ALCOHOLIC FRIEND?
Tul Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS INDIAN SERVANT?
Coo Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS TANTRIC GURU?
Pil Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS ANAEMIC COUSIN?
Ol Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS FLORIST?
Mal Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS PROCRASTINATING TWINS?
Dil Lee & Dal Lee

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HIS GHOST?
Dead Lee

Monday, June 13, 2005

Blade Pakkiri's Staple Diet

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GREEN TORTOISE IN TAMIL?
Poramai

THE BANGALORE BASED PUB, PEEKO’S, IS PLANNING TO OPEN A BAR IN CHENNAI, EXCLUSIVELY FOR LAWYERS & POLICEMEN. WHAT DO THEY PLAN TO CALL IT?
Ee-Pee-Ko’s

WHO’S THE MOTHER OF ALL PUNNERS IN TAMIL CINEMA?
Pundari Bhai

YANE DA AMERICA LA EDHAVDU SPECIAL ITEM VAANGI KITTU VAADA NA, NEE ORU BAG VANGIRIUKKAY. INDHA BAG INGAYE KIDAIKUMAY…
Illappa, US la American Pai romba famous. Adhaan vaanginane.

UNION MINISTER OF HEALTH, DR. ANBUMANI, YANE IPPO ELLAM PHOTO VEY EDUTHUKARDILLA?
Avar anti-smoking. Adhunaala pugai-padamey venaangaraaru.

ONGA PAIYAN NARIYA PEPSI, COKE ADIPAAN POLA IRUKKEY.
Epidi master kandu pidicheenga?
HISTORY EXAM LA CHOLA DYNASTY KI BADHILA COLA DYNASTY NU EZHUDHARAAN.

BJP IPPO RENDU TYPE. ONNU RSS ODA BJP. INONRU ADVANI ODA BJP. RSS ODA BJP PERU BHARATIYA JANATA PARTY. APPO ADVANI ODA BJP PERU?
Bharatiya Jinnah Party

VATRAADHA AARU EDHU?
Varal aaru

PAIYAN ENNA ELECTRICIANA?
Eppidi photo paarthu kandupicheenga?
IILLAI PAIYAN WATT-A-SATTAMA IRUKAAN, ADHAAN.

WHY DID BLADE PAKKIRI BUY A LOT OF NEW CHAPPALS?
Yena pudhu chappal kadikkumay.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Adi Kadi # 4

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SICK BRUCE LEE?
Noya Lee

Monday, June 06, 2005

Can't Escape From Blade Pakkiri

DRUG ADDICTS ODA FAVOURITE TAMIL SONG ENNA?
Weed varai uravu…

PAIYAN EPPIDI?
Paarka supera irupaan. Nalla weightana education.
WEIGHTANA EDUCATION NA? HARVARDA STANFORDA?
Illai avaru L-Kg, U-Kg typu.

KANAKKU VAADHIYARKU PIDICHA SWEET DISH EDHU?
Paaya-sum

ONGA FRIEND NALLA THANNI ADIPAAR POLA IRUKAY…
Eppidi solra…
THUNI KADAILA POI, SMALL, MEDIUM, LARGE KKU BADILLA ORU QUARTER KETRUKKAN!

AAMA, THEATRE KULLA IRUNDHUNDU INNIKI TRANSPORTER STRIKU NU EPPIDI KANDU PIDICHAY?
Yena padathla tempo-vey illaye.

AVM ORU ART GALLERY OPEN PANNA, ADHUKKU PEYAR ENNA VEKKALAAM?
OVM.

HOW CAN BLUETOOTH SOLVE THE HUNGER PROBLEM?
By creating a vayar-less world.

WHICH GHEE DO MALLUS LOVE?
Lun-ghee

JAYANTI NATRAJANUKKU PIDICHA TV SERIAL EDHU?
Chidambara Ragasiyam.

WHO IS THE MOST FUN LOVING HINDU GOD?
Lord Muruga. Because, he has a vel of a time.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Adi Kadi # 3

WHY WILL WOMEN QUEUE UP TO WATCH RAM GOPAL VERMA'S LATEST FLICK?
Because it's titled D.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Out of Form

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TAMIL MATCH MAKER?
Matri Mani

THONDAR YANE DHARMADI VAANGARAARU?
Pinna, ‘thalaivar ippodhu urai aatruvar’ nu solrathukku badhila ‘thalaivar ippodhu aanurai aatruvar’ nu sollitaan.

HOW DID THE SCHOOL GIRLS REACT AFTER SEEING CHO RAMASWAMY’S SHINING BALD PATE?
“Cho Chweet”

NADIGAI MANORAMA SATTA SABHAI THERDHALIN POZHUDU YANE ODI OLIYURAANGA?
Yena ellorum ‘aachi ya pidichuruvane’ ‘aachi ya pidichuruvanu’ gosham podaraanga.

DO YOU KNOW WHY TAMILIANS DON’T DRINK VODKA?
Because Vodka in Russian means ‘Little Water’. Translated into Tamil that means, Siruneer.

LOOSE MOHAN KU PIDIKADHA WATCH EDHU?
Tight-an

ANDHA TAILOR ORU SANGEETHA PRIYAN. RIGHTA ILLAYA?
Eppidi kandupidichanga saar?
YENA AVAR USE PANRA SEWING MACHINE PERU KOODA ‘SINGER’.

WHICH ANIMAL HAS THE BEST SENSE OF HUMOUR?
Punny

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUISED ANT?
Cut Erumbu

WHICH IS THE SAAPAAT RAMAN'S DREAM CITY?
Thindi-vanam

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Adi Kadi # 2

JOSIYARUKKU ENNA MADHIRI KADHAI PIDIKKUM?
Jataka Tales!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Blade Pakkiri - Armed & Dangerous

CHENNAI PENGALUKKU ORU BIKINI LAUNCH PANNA ADHUKKU ENNA TAMIZH PEYAR SOOTALAAM?
Ikkini

WHICH IS THE BIGGEST STD BOOTH IN MADURAI?
Aayiram Call Mandapam

WHICH COCA COLA PRODUCT WILL BE A BIG HIT IN CHENNAI SLUMS?
Cheri Coke

BHADRAKAALI KKU PIDICHA JOKE EDHU?
Naak Naak…who is that?

ANNACHI, ORU CELL PHONE COMPANY ARAMICHIRUKKANE. HUTCH RANGE LA ORU PERU KUDUTHA SUPERA IRUKKUM…
Adhukenna kudutha pochu… LOK LOK nu peru vechukko. Hutch range-layum irukkum, ellarum irumbarucha un cell phone companykku vilambaramum aayidum!

MAPLAI ROMBA SUDDHAM NU EPPIDI SOLRALE?
Yena avan kapi kudicha kooda filter kapi daan kudipaan.

BILL GATESKU PIDICHA BALACHANDER SERIAL EDHU?
Jannal

ENGLISH ALPHABETSA KANDU PIDICHAVAR ORU AAMBALAI.
Adhu yeppidi adichu solrai?
YENA POMBALAIYA IRUNDHA ‘D’ KU BADHILA ‘DA’ NU SOLLI IRUPA.

ORU MUSLIM PENNODU THIRUMANAM SEIDHAAL ADHARKU PEYAR NIKKAH. ORU GUNDU MUSLIM PENNODU THIRUMANAM SEIDHAAL ADHARKU PEYAR ENNAVO?
Poosh-nikkah

POONAIKKU PIDICHA SCHOOL EDHU?
Eli-mentary school.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Adi Kadi # 1

IRANDHU PONA RSS AAL ELLAAM ORU CLUB FORM PANNA, ADHUKKU PEYAR ENNA VEKKALAAM?
Sanghu Parivar

Monday, May 09, 2005

Blade Pakkiri Bites Again

WHICH KAMAL FILM IS ABOUT TWO GOATS?
Vettai Aadu Vilai Aadu

WALT DISNEY SAAR KADAVULA PATHI ENNA SONAARU?
Toon-ilum iruppaar thurumbilum irupaar.
APPA ILLAYARAJA SAAR?
Tune-ilum paar thurumbilum irupaar.

VIJAY MALLYAVUKKU PIDICHA AAYUTHAM EDHU?
Beerangi

NAGAICHUVAI NADU EDHU?
Syria

ENNA SAAR ONGALUKKU OPPATRA KAAVIYA MAHAAN KAARTHIKEYAN-NU PATTAM SOOTIRUKKANGA. NEENGA YANE KUSHIYAVEY ILLA?
Ada ponega saar, ippo enna ooray O. Ka. Ma. Ka. Nu koopidum!

VELUPILLAI PRABHAKARANUKKU PIDIKAADHA RASAM EDHU?
Samarasam

ANDHA PRE-SCHOOL TEACHER SARIYANA BJP ASAAMIYA IRUPAAN POLA IRUKKEY?
Yane aapidi solre?
1-2-3 KI BADHILA LOTUS 1-2-3 KATHU THARAANAAM!

ENGA SANGEETHA TEACHER PERU MRS. RAVI. AVANGA HUSBAND OORUKKU PORAICHAY AVANGA ENNA RAGAM PADUVANGA SOLLU?
Bye-ravi

DOCTOR, NEENGA PONA SIRAPPU NIGAICHI EPPIDI IRUNDADHU?
Adha yane keykareenga. Adhu oru medical representatives program. Cough syrup pathi pesi kazhutha aruthutaanga.

ALCOHOL MANUFACTURERS-ODA FAVOURITE PAZHA MOZHI ENNA?
A rum seyya virumbu.

Blade Pakkiri on a Bad Day

WHY ARE TAM BRAMS ALWAYS DIVIDED?
Because they have two walls of separation – the iyerwall and the iyengarwall.

LIPSTICK COMPANYKKUM PATHIRIKAI AASIRIYARUKKUM ENNA CONNECTION?
Rendu perumey nalla idazh venumnu try pannuvanga.

ENNODA CHAT PANRAVAN SARIYANA NAAYA IRUPPAAN POLA IRUKKEY!
Yane appidi solrey?
YANE-NA NAAN SOLRATHUKELLAM LOL LOL-NU REPLY PANRAAN!

WHO IS THE MOST POPULAR MEHTA IN TAMIL NADU?
Maangalyam santhuna mehta

NAATIYAM THERINJA MIRUGAM EDHU?
Aadu

NADIGAI MOON MOON SEN PESARA TAMIZH KARUNANIDHIKKU ROMBA PIDIKKUM. YANE NU SOLLU?
Yane?
YENNA AVANGA PESARA LANGUAGE SEN-TAMIZH!

WHICH IS THE PET CAPITAL OF INDIA?
Chennai. Because the city is full of pets – saidapet, sowcarpet, chetpet…

MOOPANAR YANE ORU DABBA KOODA CHIEF MINISTERA VARALA?
Yena avarukku coat-tie ye pidikaadu.

SOCIAL WORKERSKU PIDICHA TAMIZH PREPARATION ENNA?
Sevai

WHERE IN CHENNAI, WOULD YOU FIND COPYCAT PUNNERS?
Pun-Nakal Park

Blade Pakkiri's Torture Chamber

TAMIZH PENGALAI YANE NAMBAVEY KOODATHU?
Yenna even the dress they wear is called Say-Lies.

THANNI ADIKARAVANGALUKKU PIDICHA VILAIYATTU EDHU?
Carrum

WHICH TAMIL FILM SONG IS ABOUT MALE ELEPHANTS FROM THAILAND & TAMILNADU?
Thai male aanai. tamizh male aanai…

LAWYERKU PIDICHA SWEET DISH EDHU?
Case-Sari

KULUMAIYAN NURSERY RHYME EDHU?
Jack & Jil

WHAT DOES A TAMIL FARMER GO THROUGH WHEN THE HARVEST IS BAD?
Sow-Dhanai

MANI NU ORUTHER GOONDA IRUNDHAR. AVAR NALLA DIETING PANNITU OLLIYA MAARITAAR. AVARA IPPO ELLARUM ENNA KOOPADRA?
Mass-Illa-Mani

PALA PALAKKUM AIRLINES EDHU?
Sabena

ENDHA KAVIGNAR ROMBA FRIENDLY TYPU?
Bharathi-Yaar

RICE EATERS SUFFER FROM WHICH COMMON AFFLICTION?
Soru-Throat

Blade Pakkiri Strikes Again

SHANKARA MADATHLA BANDAGE SUPPLIERA ENNA KOOPUDUVA?
Mada Plastri

ADVANIKKU PIDICHA ARAI EDHU?
Thaamarai

BIRTH LENDU DEATH VARAIKKUM ONGA KOODIYA IRRUKIRA FRIEND YAARU?
Much-Chum

ORU TAMIZH PONNA RENDU JAPAN KARANGA LOVE PANNANGA. ORTHARU ROMBA TALL. RENDAVADHU AAL KONJUM SHORT. ANDHA PONNU YAARA CHOOSE PANRADHUNNU OREY DILEMMALA IRUNDHANGA. INDHA KAADHAL KADHAIYA ORU IYAKKUNAR PADAMA EDUTHARU. ADHA TAMIZHLAIYUM JAPAANIYA MOZHIYULUM OREY TITLE KODUTHU RELEASE PANNAARU. AVAR ENNA TITLE KODUTHAARU?
Perisawa Sirisawa

ENDHA KADAILA KOOTAMEY IRUKAADHU?
Saakadai

GULFLA TAMIZH KAARANGALUKKU ORU NEWSPAPER START PANNA ADHUKKU ENNA PEYAR VEKKALAAM?
Galeej Times

PENGALUKKU PIDITHA VAADAI EDHU?
Paavadai

ORU CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT ERANDHU PEITAARU. AVAR IPPO AAVIYA THIRIYAARU. AVARA ENGLISHLA CHELLAMA EPPIDI KOOPUDALAAM?
Account Payee

BRUCE LEEKKU PIDICHA KETTA VAARTHAI EDHU?
Okkalee

JAMES BOND TAMIZH VIVASAYIYA NADICHA PADAM PEYAR ENNA VEKKALAAM?
Moonru Acre

Sound Bites From Blade Pakkiri

ADAM GILCHRISTIKKU PIDICHA TAMIZH PADAM EDHU?
Gilli

DOCTOR NOON SHOWKKU ENGA POYIRUKKAARU?
Operation Theater.

ENNA SABHA NAYAGAR KURAL GANEERNU KEKKUDHU?
Speaker peru Bose aaam illa!

ENGA AKKA VUKKU PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMMORY. ENNA NICKNAME VECHIRUKKANE SOLLU?
Konikka

BANDHA KAATAADHA SEARCH ENGINE EDHU?
Alta Vista

JYOTHIKAKKU PIDICHA BULB EDHU?
Surya Bulb

KRISHNA VENI NNU ORU BAYANGARA VAADHI ITALY NAATLA ORU GUNDU VEESINANGALAM. INDHA SEIDHIYA ROMAPURI PAANILA SOLLU PAARKALAAM?
Veni. Vedi. Veesi.

CHUMMA CHUMMA TEA KUDIKARAVANA ENNA SOLLUVANGA?
Vettea

RAIN-PROOF DYE EDHU?
Ko-dye

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SMOKING COUPLE IN TAMIL?
Dum-pathi

Beware of Blade Pakkiri

CHINA KARANUKKU PIDICHA FISH EDHU?
Chow meen

ROMBA DOORAM IRUKIRA PARAVAI EDHU?
Mile

POONAI ODA FAVOURITE PAYASAM EDHU?
Say miaow payasam.

BRUCE LEE LOVER PERU ENNA?
Kaadhal-Lee

PADHINORU PAL KONDA VANDI EDHU?
Pal 11.

PAAN BEEDA PODRADHUKKU BEST NAAL EDHU?
Sev-vaai

WHO IS THE MOST ECO-FRIENDLY POLITICIAN IN TAMIL NADU?
Karunanidhi. Yena avar oru pachai tamizhan.

KENARUKKU PIDICHA RAJINI PADAM EDHU?
Paayum Pulley

MATHS TEACHER WIFE PERU ENNA?
Sum-saaram

BRUCE LEEKKU PIDICHA FURNITURE ITEM EDHU?
Naar-ka-lee

AWARD VAANGIYA NAGARAM EDHU?
Virudhu Nagar

DIRECTOR SHANKAR PUDU PADAM KOTHAVALCHAVDI LAYUM KOYAMBEDU LAYUM SUPER HIT AAGUM. YENU KELU?
Yane?
YENA PADAM PERU ONION.

BLOOD PRESSURE YETHARA VELAI EDHU?
BPO

OEDIPUS KKU PIDICHA TAMIZH PAATTU EDHU?
Thai illaamal naan illai.

WHY WAS RAJINI A BIG HIT WITH JAPANESE CURRENCY TRADERS?
Because of his one liner - Yen vazhi thani vazhi.

The Return of Blade Pakkiri

DENTISTIKKU PIDICHA GAME EDHU?
Pal-long-kuzhi

ANDHA KAI KANI AMMAVUKKU THANGAMANA MANASU. YENU SOLLU?
Enna 24 Carrots itema pathey rubaikku vikkaranga!

AVAN SARIYANA FRUITU
Yane appidi solra?
YENA AVAN PESARDHELLAM PAZHAM-MOZHI.

ROMBA EESHIKIRU MIRUGAM EDHU?
Otta-gum

INNIKKI INTERNET CONNECTIONA KOTTUM POLA IRUKKAY!
Yeppidi Solreenga?
YENA MODEMA IRUKKAY

MINING ENGINEERKKU PIDICHA AATAM EDHU?
Coal-aatam!

RAMBA YANE THIRUPPI WEIGHT PODRAANGA?
Thunder Thigh pirandha vazhi pirakkumnu padichangalaam!

DOCTOR PIDICHA PATTASU EDHU?
Oosi Pattasu

YANE ONGA ENGLISH HIGH CLASSA ILLAI?
Yena naan English Mediumla daaney padichane.

PARLIAMENT PAKKAMEY POGADHA. NAARUM.
Appidi enna nadakapoguthu?
ORU MANADHODA MOTION PASS PANNA PORANGALAAM

ENGA VEETU SAMAYAL KARIYA POI KATTI PUDICHUTAYE VEKKAMA ILLAI?
Yenna parthu - enna venum rottiya NAANA-nu koochamillama kettanga, adhaan!

ELLARUKKUM IRUKKERA OREY WORRY EDHU?
Varumaana Vari

Blade Pakkiri Once More

TELEPHONE OPERATERKU VARA KUDIYA VYAADHI EDHU?
Call-era.

INSPECTOR YANE PATHIRIKAI AALARA SHOOT PANNI TAARU?
Suda suda seidhi kettaan. Suttu taaru!

LEATHER EXPORTS PATHI ORU PUTHAKAM EZHUDINA ADUKKU PEYAR ENNE VEKKALAAM?
Thole Kappiyam.

YANE LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE-NNU SOLRANGA?
Yena jokela nariya Wit-amin irukku.

ADHO RENDU TOWEL VECHURUKAAREY, AVAR ORU NAI DOCTORA?
Epiddi Kandupidicheenga?
YENA ‘VET’ ONNU THUNDU RENDULLAY!

BANK LOAN COLLECTORKU SEN THAMIZHIL ORU PATTAM SOOTINAAAL ADHU ENNAVAGA IRUKKUM?
Cheque izhutha chemmal.

BARBERKKU PIDICHA CIGARETTE EDHU?
Scissors

DRIVER YANE THOONGI VAZHIYARAARU?
Cot-padi vandhaachu saar, adhaan!

ARJUN AMMA YANE PALAAR PALAARNU ADIKARAANGA?
Yena paiyan naal arai paal kettaan.

NAMMA TUITION MASTER RADIO MIRCHILA VELA SENJAARO?
Yane appidi solrey?
MATHS LA NOORUKKU BADHILEY 98.3 MARK DHAAN PODRARU.

BRUCE LEE SPOOF PADAM EDUTHAA ADHUKU INNA PERU VEKKALAAM?
Koma-Lee

PICHAIKARANAI PATHI ORU HINDI PADAM PANNA ADHUKKU PERU ENNA VEKKALAAM?
Pasi, Pattini aur Woe.

JOSIYARKKU EPPIDI IVLO KADI JOKES THERINJURUKKU?
Yena avar PUN-jangathey karaichu kudichurukaaru.

YANE RELIGIOUS FANATICS YOSIKKAVEY MAATTENGARAANGA?
Yena Sindhanaiyil SIN irukaam.

BAYANGARAVAADHI GALLUKKU PIDIKADHA FRUIT EDHU?
Sap-POTA.

Blade Pakkiri's Birthday Gift

COOKERKKUM SUDU GAADUKKUM ENNA CONNECTION?

Rendhuthiliyum aavi varum

YANE PAIYAN KATHI KATHI PESARAN?

Yena avan romba sharpu.

UDAIKKA MUDIYATHA KAAL EDHU?

Fevi Kaal

YANE PAIYANUKKU AAVIN-NU PERU VECHEENGA?

Yena avanukku paal vadiyum mugam.

LIFT OPERATORKKU PIDIKAATHA HAIRSTYLE EDHU?

Step Cut

YANE THALAIVAR PADAYATRA-NU KALAMBITTARU?

Johnny Walker adicharu, addhan.

ENGLISH LIYA ROMBA NEELAMANA VARI EDU?

Janavary

BARBER KU PIDICHA VEGETABLE EDU?

Katri kai

FIM STAR ENNA THANNI ADIPAARU?

Natchath RUM

DRIVERODA FAVOURITE DANCE EDHU?

Brake Dance



YANE PAIYAN ROMBA PARAKKARAAN?

Yena he passed with flying colours.

PANAKKARA VYADHI EDHU?

Kasu noi

BRUCE LEE DUPLICATE PERU SOLLU PAARKALAAM?

Po Lee

BRUCE LEE-KKU PIDICHA DRESS EDHU?

Kai Lee

BRUCE LEE KKU VAAL MOLACHA PERU ENNA VAIPANGA?

Va Lee

BRUCE LEE HOTELLA INNA SAPTAARU?

Tha Lee

YANE PONNU TERRACELIYA NIKKARANGA?

Yenna she prefers MALE company.

KARUNANIDHIKKU PIDIKAADHA OORGAI EDHU?

North-unga

DANCE KATHUKKA BEST SEASON EDHU?

Aadi

YANE AVAN JADIYA THARANDUNDERKAAN?

Yena avan romba moody typu.