Blade Pakkiri's Delhi Belly

IF NOIDA HAD A BAD DAY, WHAT WOULD IT BECOME?
Annoyda

WHERE DO OBESE WOMEN DO THEIR JOGS IN DELHI?
Moti Baag

IF THE LASSI HAD A HOMELAND IN DELHI, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Around Yeast of Kailash.

WHERE DO FB MATES DO THEIR OFFLINE MEETS IN DELHI?
New Friends Colony

WHERE DO FOOTBALLERS SHOP IN THE CAPITAL CITY?
Goal Market

WHAT'S THE T-SHIRT CAPITAL OF DELHI?
Tees Hazari

WHAT'S THE CARPETBAGGER'S HANGOUT CALLED IN DELHI?
Dhurrieyaganj

WHERE DID THE iPHONES PLAN THEIR REUNION IN DELHI?
Siri Fort

WHICH DELHI NEIGHBORHOOD IS A FAVOURITE HAUNT OF ZEN POETS?
Dhaula Koan

WHICH IS THE BEST PLACE TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS IN DELHI?
Carol Bagh

IF HENRI MANCINI WERE A DELHI JAT, WHAT WOULD HE BE SINGING?
Bawana Gila

WHAT DID THE CCR SAY WHEN THEY VISITED LODI COLONY?
Oh Lord, Stuck in Lodi again

Blade Pakkiri's Irksome Moves

IF NAAI IS A DOG, WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHESS PLAYING DOG?
Korchnaai

WHAT'S THE APT NAME FOR A MASSEUR TURNED GRANDMASTER?
Spassky

WHICH CHESS PLAYER WAS ONCE MISTAKEN FOR A PETROLEUM JELLY?
Vaseline Topalov

WHAT IS THE CHESS PLAYER'S FAVOURITE BEVERAGE?
Castle Lager

WHY DID THE CHESS PLAYER NEVER GET A JOB?
Because he never found the opening he was looking for in Monster.com

WHY DID THE JUDGE TAKE TO CHESS LIKE A FISH TO WATER?
Because he heard this is the only game that allowed adjournments.

WHICH IS THE SMARTEST TERRORIST OUTFIT IN THE WORLD?
Lasker-E-Toiba

KERALITES OFTEN ASSUME THAT THIS GUY MUST BE A MALLU GRAND MASTER FROM THE MIDDLE EAST. WHO?
Boris GELFand

THIS CHESS PLAYER'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WOULD BE A SHORT STORY. WHO?
Nigel Short

WHY DID THE BLONDE REFUSE TO DATE THE GRAND MASTER?
Because he was into stale mates.

Blade Pakkiri Turns Legal Eagle

WHAT'S THE WORLD’S FIRST GATED COMMUNITY?
Prison

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GATED COMMUNITY MEANT EXCLUSIVELY FOR THOSE OUT ON PAROLE?
Parole Bagh

WHAT BRAND OF PACKAGED DRINKING WATER DO THEY SERVE AT THE COURTS?
Bailley

WHY DID THE COURT TAKE ITS OWN SWEET TIME TO DISPOSE OFF THE APPEAL?
Because it’s an APELLATE court.

WHAT KIND OF MUSIC IS PREFFERED BY THE HONORABLE JUDGES?
Chamber Music

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ADVOCATE WHO TURNED INTO A SINGER?
Gary Lawyer

WHY DID THE PIZZA MAN DELIVER TWICE AT THE CHIEF JUSTICE’S HOME?
Because he heard the Judge repeat the ‘ORDER ORDER!’

WHY DOES ONE GET A FEELING THAT OUR JUDGES HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO IN LEARNING ENGLISH?
Because they are forever pronouncing sentences.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAT LAWYER?
Suo Motu

WHY DID THE GOLF CLUB CREATE A SEPARATE TEEING GROUND FOR LAWYERS?
Because the law will take its own course.

Blade Pakkiri has Chinese for breakfast.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHINESE WHO'S BAD AT MATH?
Dim Sum

WHICH INDIAN MUSIC COMPOSER IS POPULAR IN BEIJING?
Yuan Shankar Raja

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHINESE COWARD?
Lee Lee Livered

WHY DID THE CHINESE HACK THE FORTUNE WEBSITE?
They were rummaging it for Fortune Cookies.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SICK CHINESE?
Deng Gu

WHY WILL CHINA NEVER WIN A WAR WITH INDIA AGAIN?
They have too many chinks in their armour!

WHICH CHINESE CITY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF PEEPING TOMS?
Peeking

WHICH INDIAN KING WAS MISTAKEN FOR AS A NOODLE BY CHINESE TRAVELERS?
Hakka

WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHINESE SOUP MAKER IN PONDICHERRY?
Pi Ping Hot

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GOOD LOOKING CHINESE IN PUNJAB?
Chung Ga

IF THE KANNADA CLASSIC 'TABARINA KATHE' WAS REMADE FOR CHINA, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED?
Tabarina Cathay

WHY DID THE CHINESE ASSUME THAT TAMILIANS ARE COMMIES?
Because every home has Dosa Mao, Kadala Mao, Maida Mao and Kolam Mao.

How do you say 'how do you do'?

At the kennel: Bow do you do?
At the steakhouse: Cow do you do?
At the stock exchange: Dow do you do?
At Guantanamo Bay: POW do you do?
At the Confucius fan room: Tao do you do?
At the Naxalite training camp:Mao do you do?
At the typographer's cafe: Goudy you do?
At the toilet: How do you do-do?
At the bordello: Who do you do?